VACCINE and VACCINATION
Mission Statement: Protecting you when you seem incapable or overwhelmed in caring for yourself.
Don't pay any attention to those claiming the H1N1 Swine Flu epidemic is not real or the vaccine is ineffective or dangerous, or that we lack the power to force vaccinate the population. The flu outbreak is so huge we stopped counting cases. Just take our word for it, we are your government and this flu will kill your kids. There are plenty of shots for everyone, and the vaccine manufacturers are quite satisfied they can meet our needs for compulsory vaccination.
Those responsible for spreading this fear of required vaccinations will be treated with -- as we, your benevolent leaders have always dealt with real opposition -- displays of force. This will include members of the media whom are deemed to have exceeded the bounds of proper reporting and incited panic and questioning of official policy.
First, we have to make sure the first responders are protected by ensuring they get vaccinated before they get to you. After all we can't expect them to treat you if they risk being infected. And we can't have them infecting you. A healthy workforce is a productive workforce, and with the sorry state of our economy we need you working longer and harder than ever to pay off the foreign owned U.S. Treasury Bonds.
With that in mind we are giving first responders and healthcare workers a choice: Get vaccinated or get unemployed. And they might as well get vaccinated and keep their job because they are going to get vaccinated sooner or later. The only question is will they still be able to make their house payments? Their family will appreciate their sacrifice as they stand in line to receive their injections.
And you can bet, after we have forced them to get their shots, they will be more than willing to ensure you get your shots too. We are so certain of this we will be mandating you and your family line up afterwards for your vaccinations as well. Some of our friendly government enforcers can't wait to try out their new compliance tools.
Don't worry. This vaccine is so safe you don't need to know what is in it. (2) Rest assured this has the seal of quality and approval from the United Nations, the World Health Association, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and the Centers for Disease Control. So you know everything is fine.
We will be searching for any non-compliant persons (1) who may need quarantining for the public safety. (3) There is plenty of detention room for those who could potentially get infected and spread flu to your family at "Camp FEMA." We have special records to track those who have been vaccinated and those who have not. (5)
And in case you or a family member happen to be one of the really, really rare individuals who suffers a bad reaction or death to the vaccine we have a special process insisted upon by the vaccine manufacturers: Vaccine Court. (4) Yes, a special court where your complaint goes in, but a judgment in your favor rarely comes out. This spares the judiciary the burden of finding that you have been harmed by our safe vaccine. Instead your claim is denied by one of our paid government employees -- who are an expert because they usd to work for one of the vaccine companies -- because you have already been assured of the vaccine's complete safety by the FDA. Besides which you already signed a consent form indemnifying the vaccine manufacturer and the person injecting you from any claim of harm to your person or family member.
